Service with a Smile

I am a server. As a waitress, it is my job to serve others. I go to work everyday praying that I'd be joyful, praying that I'd be a loving servant. I'm realizing that it may be more important for me to love my co-workers by serving them than it is my customers who are paying for the service though.

This job is teaching me to listen. I asked them if they wanted ketchup, but did they say "yes" or "no"? Did they want lemon with their water? What kind of dressing do they want? What's the special tonight? Blast. I need to really listen. Beyond the customers though, my co-workers just need someone to listen to them. No, I don't want to hear them complain, and I don't want to be a part of the restaurant gossip. Sometimes just listening can bring the other waitress(es) a glimpse of joy though; sometimes even some laughter.

It's been said that the most important part of a waitresses job is to learn the smile and nod; just keep coffee cups full and smile. That's easy for me. Going the extra mile for my co-workers is more difficult. I'm a team player (and I'm realizing that the people I spend the most time with are also there for the better of the community); the rest of the world is out there working for themselves. Tonight I decided that this is my summer's challenge and my opportunity to love the way Christ loves. Sure, I want to get off of work as soon as possible just like the others, but maybe I should offer to sweep the floors. Driving someone home isn't convenient, but what would Jesus do?

What is the line between going that extra mile and allowing others to use you? Is it bad to be used? I don't want to drive someone home who lives in the opposite direction if she is simply going to rely on me to do that all the time, but then again, why not?

How do I truly love these people? I think I'll start with a smile.

I truly have the best of friends

My friends are great.

This weekend, twelve of my friends from school came to my house. Friday night we had a bon fire, then Saturday we went to Cedar Point all day. It was such a blast! We actually stayed together all day (I was surprised it worked, but it made the time fly when we could just spend time together), and we just enjoyed the day. It was a beautiful day, with beautiful, fun friends.

Why do they all have to live on the other side of the state? Why can't my college friends be from the Pittsburgh area instead? They just left, and it's sad. They mean so much to me. I may have spent a fortune this weekend on gas and the park ticket and food, but it was so worth it! The relationships built and stengthened over this weekend will far outlast anything in my bank account. Why can't all of life be this way?

Back to reality, once again. What a blessing this weekendn was! My friends are truly the best.

Back to Reality

This weekend was great.

As much as the housing situation sucks, it allowed me to go to State College for the weekend which also meant that I got to see Caedmon's Call in New Jersey and spend time with awesome friends. So good. Jordan, Ryan and I went to Ben and Steph's house on Sat. night, then to church with them on Sun. before going to the concert and "down the shore" on Sun. night. Excellent. The roadtrip with them was really fun - relaxing, loud, joyful. Plus I got to see two other really good friends on Mon. before heading home.

Once home though, it was back to reality. Not all of life is fun and friends. Home is great, but I just tend to fight with my parents more. I know it has a lot to do with me not having a job, but regardless, the fighting that comes from that makes me not want to be home.

Fortunately, I got a waitressing job yesterday, and I started this morning at 8am. It's my first job as a waitress - super intimidating, but I think today went well. I made a decent amount in tips considering I'm new. I like serving people.

I just pray that I'll continue to like serving and that I'll be joyful. My friend told me that he's never known a happy waitress and I'll have to break the mold. I pray that I'll break the mold because of the love of Christ, because He is my source of joy. I pray that I'd think of others before myself and that would show through my daily job.

Available for Use

I went to Panama a few years ago on a Brio Missions Trip. One of the biggest things I took away from that trip was that God is ready to use us if we're just willing to tell Him, "I'm available." I am available, and I've told Him that. I want to be used by Him; I'm open to whatever that means (as scary as that is).

So what about leading the freshmen girls Bible study next year? When I decided to leave YoungLife and invest in ACF, I told God, "I'm available. I'm ready to invest in ACF, whatever that means." I didn't expect a title, I just knew that I wanted to truly invest and be used in the lives of the people around me. The timing of me leaving YoungLife was a total God-thing. I literally went from not even considering leaving YL to knowing without a doubt that I was to do so within four days. Crazy. Though I didn't know if I'd have a title, I did. A week after I decided to leave YL, nom.com. asked me to be Social Chair for ACF. "OK. Wherever You want me, God. I'm open. This will probably be a good fit for me." Then, right before the ACF picnic, I was asked to lead the freshmen girls Bible study.

A few people had mentioned to me, "Kate, have you ever thought about leading a Bible study?" and I gave them all the same answer: I don't necessarily think that leading a Bible study is where my gifts are. I'll pray about it though; I'm open. They were never official people, yet they were people I respect and took their thoughts seriously. When Laura asked me, I thought this must be something God wants me to do....she was the fourth person to mention it to me and she's "official". The problem? I'd lead with Casey. Not that Casey's a problem, but our personalities often clash - big time. Clashing personalities and upper-classmen drama is not something that ever needs to be brought into leadership and Bible study, especially with freshmen.

What do I do? Casey and I got together today to talk about it. She doesn't think there's anyway we could work. We always end up frustrated with each other and arguing. We get along best when we don't spend constant time together. But the more I think about it, the more I want to lead. I'm still praying - asking God to be "abundantly clear" in His desire for this study. Casey really wants to lead, and has wanted to for a few months now. I want to build relationships with these girls and be a part of plugging them into the fellowship that has been such a blessing to me over the past two years. Obviously, I was never dying to be a Bible study leader, but again, I'm open. And since being asked, I've been really encouraged by a few people about my gifts and how they can be used in that freshmen study setting.

I don't understand (told you it was a theme...) why Casey and I would be asked to lead together. It's no secret that we don't get along that well - too much history. And why me? I didn't even go to the Bible Study Leaders Training...other girls did, and they'd be just as usable....

I'm available, I just need to be really open. I need wisdom.

I Just Don't Know

I just don't know.

I've thought about blogging a lot lately, but then decided against it. Here I am. I have to admit that I've enjoyed reading a few blogs over the past few weeks, and people say it's a great way to stay in touch. Tonight I decided to do it because I just need to write. And I suppose I'd appreciate a little input as well...

I'm super excited to be going this summer, but there's a lot that has to be done first and nothing has gone smoothely....like my parents thinking that the $1800 on their credit card was fraud because it was for a middle eastern culture. They refused to pay it, and I got a phone call yesterday saying that they needed a check to be overnighted if I wanted the ticket. Then, there was the visa hassel. When I finished filling everything out online last night (and it took a while), I needed to print it. But NO, the computer decided to stop working. Yes, I over-reacted and panicked a little bit as I didn' t know if I had actually completed all that had to be done or not. Long story short, thank God that all is fine, and $100 later I will have my visa in the mail shortly. I may have over-reacted, but I just feel like there is already so much opposition. I need to pray about this trip more. Satan is at work. Why am I just sitting back and waiting?

My grandmother was asking me about my trip on Sunday. "They're never going to have a life like us, so what are you telling them? Isn't it hard to let them see your lifestyle if they'll never get out of where they are?" she asked me. I was kind of hurt. I didn't have much of a response, but I ask, "Who's to say that America is the ultimate goal and end to success?" I think my purpose is to go and love these children. What does that look like though? This seems to be another phrase that I use a lot (at least to myself). What does this stuff look like, practically speaking, in my daily life? How do I love? How do I serve?

On another note...more selfish I suppose....I got an email from Fraser, the guy who owns the house on Walnut Street where I've been planning on living the next two years. On April 12 he promised me that the four of us girls could live in the house beginning in August. Tonight I got an email of apology stating that he is not going to allow that to happen. WHAT?!?!! At this point, I'm homeless. He tried to help out with some phone numbers of houses available near by. I suppose I'll try them in the morning, but seriously....I talked to him last June about making this happen and he decides now that it's not going to work? Yes, there have been tears.

I just feel so....lonely....frustrated.....

I always get this way when I'm at home, but I don't have a reason to. This semester I was continually reminded that it's not a matter of understanding, but it's a matter of obeying. Again, I just don't know...and what does that look like in this situation?