Tomorrow’s the day. I’ve been wanting to go to India for about four years, and tomorrow is the day I get to go. Crazy!
I’m getting more and more excited and nervous. I really have no idea as to what to expect. I realize that having no expectations can be a good thing when embarking on such an adventure, but it’s kind of nerve-wracking to have no idea of what my life will look like for the next three weeks in this third-world country.
I don’t know what the food will be like, but I’m not expecting to 1. get very much food or 2. like very much of the food. Rice? OK. Curry? Not so much. Besides, I’ve been told that the stench of India is such that you lose your appetite, even if you’re being served food that you really want. I’m praying that I’m not hungry….though, if I’m not hungry, it will probably be the first time in my entire life!
I don’ t know what the housing will look like either. We’re staying in the orphanage guest house, but what does that mean? There will be two girls to every room….we’ll have beds….but what’s the bathroom situation like at such a place? All I know is that we’re to bring TP with us, and the trains have squatty-potties from which you can see the tracks beneath you. Ugh. But it’s an adventure!
One of the first questions people ask me when they hear I’m leaving for India is: What will you be doing there? (That is, after they get past the initial shock that I’m going to the actual country of India.) My response: I have no idea. We will spend the first few days outside of the city of Chennai at the girls’ home, and then we’ll take a 14 hour train ride north to the boys’ home where we’ll spend the rest of our time. We’re to help wherever we see a need. Help the staff and children with English and pronunciation; help with homework; help clean up; teach basic nutrition information; play. There may even be some construction that takes place – we shall see!
Please pray for me as I travel. Pray that luggage would arrive on time, that we would be healthy, and joyful. Pray that Jackie, Lauren and I would pull together and fully depend on God. There are eight of us going to India, and we are the only three Christians. It’s so easy to get distracted by people and tasks and just life, in general, and neglect to spend quality time with God. I do not want that to happen on this trip. Pray for opportunities. Pray that this would be a great time of ministry, not only to the orphans and staff at HOINA but that the relationships built with Reagan, Lauren, Laura, Pryanka, and Tess would be such that they experience Christ’s love through us.
Thanks for your prayers…..God is good…..all the time…. Especially today!
July 27, 2008
July 13, 2008
The Good Life
I have two dream lives.
The one life I dream of is overseas, serving along side my husband on the mission field. There will be no matching dishes, expensive artwork on the walls, no fancy cars or comfy leather couches. Instead we will live with the poor and eat strange foods. We will trust God and fully depend on Him in order to pay our bills. People will drive us crazy. There will be a lot of giving and not much taking. It's a dream of an exciting and challenging adventure that seems to be where God is leading me....some day.....yes, it's a dream.
The other life I dream of is completely different. It's a big, beautiful house with the latest dishes, modern art on the red walls, and an SUV full of kids. It's freshly baked cookies in the oven, a pool in the backyard, and lots of lunch dates with friends, shopping, and exotic vacations.
How can I have two such drastic dreams for my future life? I told a friend that, and he said, "Kate, I think those two both fit your personality pretty well. Good luck finding a way to have both." Thanks. It's true though. I love both things. And this summer (this month, actually) I'm getting to experience both.
I just returned from a wonderful vacation to Hilton Head Island, South Carolina where I went sailing, ate a nice restaurants, listened to live music at the Harbour, went to a Jazz Corner, rode miles and miles on bikes, slept in, laid on the beach, swam in the warm Atlantic, and just enjoyed not having any responsibilities. It was all about me and relaxing and having fun...which I did a lot of! I didn't really spend a whole lot of time with God though. I praised Him for His beautiful creations, but I wasn't hungry for Him.
I hope that being in India (in two weeks!) will cause me to starve for Him; I want to only be satisfied by Him. In India, I think I'm going to be hungry a lot (I really depend on food for energy, and I'm hungry all the time as it is....eating spicey Indian food is going to be a real challenge). Maybe that is where God will truly be my supply. I think God's calling me to a life that is more like the dream I'll experience in India than in Hilton Head. He's got a plan.
It's always good to be reminded that God dreams bigger dreams for me than I can dream for myself.
The one life I dream of is overseas, serving along side my husband on the mission field. There will be no matching dishes, expensive artwork on the walls, no fancy cars or comfy leather couches. Instead we will live with the poor and eat strange foods. We will trust God and fully depend on Him in order to pay our bills. People will drive us crazy. There will be a lot of giving and not much taking. It's a dream of an exciting and challenging adventure that seems to be where God is leading me....some day.....yes, it's a dream.
The other life I dream of is completely different. It's a big, beautiful house with the latest dishes, modern art on the red walls, and an SUV full of kids. It's freshly baked cookies in the oven, a pool in the backyard, and lots of lunch dates with friends, shopping, and exotic vacations.
How can I have two such drastic dreams for my future life? I told a friend that, and he said, "Kate, I think those two both fit your personality pretty well. Good luck finding a way to have both." Thanks. It's true though. I love both things. And this summer (this month, actually) I'm getting to experience both.
I just returned from a wonderful vacation to Hilton Head Island, South Carolina where I went sailing, ate a nice restaurants, listened to live music at the Harbour, went to a Jazz Corner, rode miles and miles on bikes, slept in, laid on the beach, swam in the warm Atlantic, and just enjoyed not having any responsibilities. It was all about me and relaxing and having fun...which I did a lot of! I didn't really spend a whole lot of time with God though. I praised Him for His beautiful creations, but I wasn't hungry for Him.
I hope that being in India (in two weeks!) will cause me to starve for Him; I want to only be satisfied by Him. In India, I think I'm going to be hungry a lot (I really depend on food for energy, and I'm hungry all the time as it is....eating spicey Indian food is going to be a real challenge). Maybe that is where God will truly be my supply. I think God's calling me to a life that is more like the dream I'll experience in India than in Hilton Head. He's got a plan.
It's always good to be reminded that God dreams bigger dreams for me than I can dream for myself.
June 27, 2008
He's good
You know, I think that I pray pretty expectingly, yet every time God answers a prayer, I'm blown away and amazed. Maybe that's actually a blessing; I can be blown away by God a whole lot when it comes to answered prayers.
So I'm going to India soon. One month from tomorrow, to be exact. The trip is costing nearly $3000 for me to go for three weeks, and there have definitely been times when I've had to ask myself why I'm doing this and is the money worth it when I could probably spend the same amount and go somewhere for three months instead. Funding has been provided though! Praise the Lord! First, I received $1000 from my college (HHD), then, after sending out about 30 support letters, I've received another $1500. It's been so incredibly encouraging to receive letter after letter from people with enclosed checks. People are so anxious to be a part of this adventure in my life, and they are so incredibly generous! I'm still waiting to find out if I'll receive a study abroad scholarship for $500; If I do, I think that my whole trip will literally be paid for. If not, I'm more than willing to pay the $500 for this experience and mission, but still....It's so awesome to see God's provision and His goodness through others' willing hearts.
Another answer to prayer: I'm not going to be homeless in the fall. In August, I will move into a beautiful four bedroom house with Courtney, Jackie, Kristen, and Ellen (a random new girl). Kristen and I will share the master bedroom with the master bath and walk-in closet; the others will all have their own rooms. We also have a big living room, a nice size kitchen/dining room, a big backyard, a deck (with a [broken-but-i-hope-it-will-be-fixable] hot tub), a firepit, and a piano. It's going to be great! I'm disappointed that it's not super close to my friends, but we are close to campus, and, again, the house is beautiful.
God is good. He answers prayers. He is faithful, even when I'm faithless. PTL!
So I'm going to India soon. One month from tomorrow, to be exact. The trip is costing nearly $3000 for me to go for three weeks, and there have definitely been times when I've had to ask myself why I'm doing this and is the money worth it when I could probably spend the same amount and go somewhere for three months instead. Funding has been provided though! Praise the Lord! First, I received $1000 from my college (HHD), then, after sending out about 30 support letters, I've received another $1500. It's been so incredibly encouraging to receive letter after letter from people with enclosed checks. People are so anxious to be a part of this adventure in my life, and they are so incredibly generous! I'm still waiting to find out if I'll receive a study abroad scholarship for $500; If I do, I think that my whole trip will literally be paid for. If not, I'm more than willing to pay the $500 for this experience and mission, but still....It's so awesome to see God's provision and His goodness through others' willing hearts.
Another answer to prayer: I'm not going to be homeless in the fall. In August, I will move into a beautiful four bedroom house with Courtney, Jackie, Kristen, and Ellen (a random new girl). Kristen and I will share the master bedroom with the master bath and walk-in closet; the others will all have their own rooms. We also have a big living room, a nice size kitchen/dining room, a big backyard, a deck (with a [broken-but-i-hope-it-will-be-fixable] hot tub), a firepit, and a piano. It's going to be great! I'm disappointed that it's not super close to my friends, but we are close to campus, and, again, the house is beautiful.
God is good. He answers prayers. He is faithful, even when I'm faithless. PTL!
June 3, 2008
Behind the Scene?
Do you ever wonder what others say/think about you? I do. I think about how people talk about others, and it makes me wonder what they say about me when I'm not around.
Like today at work, when two of the girls were laughing and talking and hitting on the cook and making dirty references. I stayed out of it. I kept working; they left the tables to me. The cook made a comment that I was the smartest one around since I wasn't involved in any of the non-sense. The one girl said, "Kate's got a halo on her head though....no offense." "False," I replied. I'm not going to judge. I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. Is that truly the impression I'm leaving. I hope not.
My mother called me a snob because I told her I wasn't interested in being friends with my co-workers outside of work. Apparently I was right in being slightly stand-offish; I'm not as naive as I once was. The cook asked me out today.
Those other waitresses are way interested in his cowboy jeans, cowboy boots, horse riding and rodeo skills. I'm not. Call me a snob, but I'm not interested.
If word gets out, I wonder what they'll think of me then.
Like today at work, when two of the girls were laughing and talking and hitting on the cook and making dirty references. I stayed out of it. I kept working; they left the tables to me. The cook made a comment that I was the smartest one around since I wasn't involved in any of the non-sense. The one girl said, "Kate's got a halo on her head though....no offense." "False," I replied. I'm not going to judge. I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. Is that truly the impression I'm leaving. I hope not.
My mother called me a snob because I told her I wasn't interested in being friends with my co-workers outside of work. Apparently I was right in being slightly stand-offish; I'm not as naive as I once was. The cook asked me out today.
Those other waitresses are way interested in his cowboy jeans, cowboy boots, horse riding and rodeo skills. I'm not. Call me a snob, but I'm not interested.
If word gets out, I wonder what they'll think of me then.
May 31, 2008
Service with a Smile
I am a server. As a waitress, it is my job to serve others. I go to work everyday praying that I'd be joyful, praying that I'd be a loving servant. I'm realizing that it may be more important for me to love my co-workers by serving them than it is my customers who are paying for the service though.
This job is teaching me to listen. I asked them if they wanted ketchup, but did they say "yes" or "no"? Did they want lemon with their water? What kind of dressing do they want? What's the special tonight? Blast. I need to really listen. Beyond the customers though, my co-workers just need someone to listen to them. No, I don't want to hear them complain, and I don't want to be a part of the restaurant gossip. Sometimes just listening can bring the other waitress(es) a glimpse of joy though; sometimes even some laughter.
It's been said that the most important part of a waitresses job is to learn the smile and nod; just keep coffee cups full and smile. That's easy for me. Going the extra mile for my co-workers is more difficult. I'm a team player (and I'm realizing that the people I spend the most time with are also there for the better of the community); the rest of the world is out there working for themselves. Tonight I decided that this is my summer's challenge and my opportunity to love the way Christ loves. Sure, I want to get off of work as soon as possible just like the others, but maybe I should offer to sweep the floors. Driving someone home isn't convenient, but what would Jesus do?
What is the line between going that extra mile and allowing others to use you? Is it bad to be used? I don't want to drive someone home who lives in the opposite direction if she is simply going to rely on me to do that all the time, but then again, why not?
How do I truly love these people? I think I'll start with a smile.
This job is teaching me to listen. I asked them if they wanted ketchup, but did they say "yes" or "no"? Did they want lemon with their water? What kind of dressing do they want? What's the special tonight? Blast. I need to really listen. Beyond the customers though, my co-workers just need someone to listen to them. No, I don't want to hear them complain, and I don't want to be a part of the restaurant gossip. Sometimes just listening can bring the other waitress(es) a glimpse of joy though; sometimes even some laughter.
It's been said that the most important part of a waitresses job is to learn the smile and nod; just keep coffee cups full and smile. That's easy for me. Going the extra mile for my co-workers is more difficult. I'm a team player (and I'm realizing that the people I spend the most time with are also there for the better of the community); the rest of the world is out there working for themselves. Tonight I decided that this is my summer's challenge and my opportunity to love the way Christ loves. Sure, I want to get off of work as soon as possible just like the others, but maybe I should offer to sweep the floors. Driving someone home isn't convenient, but what would Jesus do?
What is the line between going that extra mile and allowing others to use you? Is it bad to be used? I don't want to drive someone home who lives in the opposite direction if she is simply going to rely on me to do that all the time, but then again, why not?
How do I truly love these people? I think I'll start with a smile.
May 25, 2008
I truly have the best of friends
My friends are great.
This weekend, twelve of my friends from school came to my house. Friday night we had a bon fire, then Saturday we went to Cedar Point all day. It was such a blast! We actually stayed together all day (I was surprised it worked, but it made the time fly when we could just spend time together), and we just enjoyed the day. It was a beautiful day, with beautiful, fun friends.
Why do they all have to live on the other side of the state? Why can't my college friends be from the Pittsburgh area instead? They just left, and it's sad. They mean so much to me. I may have spent a fortune this weekend on gas and the park ticket and food, but it was so worth it! The relationships built and stengthened over this weekend will far outlast anything in my bank account. Why can't all of life be this way?
Back to reality, once again. What a blessing this weekendn was! My friends are truly the best.
This weekend, twelve of my friends from school came to my house. Friday night we had a bon fire, then Saturday we went to Cedar Point all day. It was such a blast! We actually stayed together all day (I was surprised it worked, but it made the time fly when we could just spend time together), and we just enjoyed the day. It was a beautiful day, with beautiful, fun friends.
Why do they all have to live on the other side of the state? Why can't my college friends be from the Pittsburgh area instead? They just left, and it's sad. They mean so much to me. I may have spent a fortune this weekend on gas and the park ticket and food, but it was so worth it! The relationships built and stengthened over this weekend will far outlast anything in my bank account. Why can't all of life be this way?
Back to reality, once again. What a blessing this weekendn was! My friends are truly the best.
May 21, 2008
Back to Reality
This weekend was great.
As much as the housing situation sucks, it allowed me to go to State College for the weekend which also meant that I got to see Caedmon's Call in New Jersey and spend time with awesome friends. So good. Jordan, Ryan and I went to Ben and Steph's house on Sat. night, then to church with them on Sun. before going to the concert and "down the shore" on Sun. night. Excellent. The roadtrip with them was really fun - relaxing, loud, joyful. Plus I got to see two other really good friends on Mon. before heading home.
Once home though, it was back to reality. Not all of life is fun and friends. Home is great, but I just tend to fight with my parents more. I know it has a lot to do with me not having a job, but regardless, the fighting that comes from that makes me not want to be home.
Fortunately, I got a waitressing job yesterday, and I started this morning at 8am. It's my first job as a waitress - super intimidating, but I think today went well. I made a decent amount in tips considering I'm new. I like serving people.
I just pray that I'll continue to like serving and that I'll be joyful. My friend told me that he's never known a happy waitress and I'll have to break the mold. I pray that I'll break the mold because of the love of Christ, because He is my source of joy. I pray that I'd think of others before myself and that would show through my daily job.
As much as the housing situation sucks, it allowed me to go to State College for the weekend which also meant that I got to see Caedmon's Call in New Jersey and spend time with awesome friends. So good. Jordan, Ryan and I went to Ben and Steph's house on Sat. night, then to church with them on Sun. before going to the concert and "down the shore" on Sun. night. Excellent. The roadtrip with them was really fun - relaxing, loud, joyful. Plus I got to see two other really good friends on Mon. before heading home.
Once home though, it was back to reality. Not all of life is fun and friends. Home is great, but I just tend to fight with my parents more. I know it has a lot to do with me not having a job, but regardless, the fighting that comes from that makes me not want to be home.
Fortunately, I got a waitressing job yesterday, and I started this morning at 8am. It's my first job as a waitress - super intimidating, but I think today went well. I made a decent amount in tips considering I'm new. I like serving people.
I just pray that I'll continue to like serving and that I'll be joyful. My friend told me that he's never known a happy waitress and I'll have to break the mold. I pray that I'll break the mold because of the love of Christ, because He is my source of joy. I pray that I'd think of others before myself and that would show through my daily job.
May 16, 2008
Available for Use
I went to Panama a few years ago on a Brio Missions Trip. One of the biggest things I took away from that trip was that God is ready to use us if we're just willing to tell Him, "I'm available." I am available, and I've told Him that. I want to be used by Him; I'm open to whatever that means (as scary as that is).
So what about leading the freshmen girls Bible study next year? When I decided to leave YoungLife and invest in ACF, I told God, "I'm available. I'm ready to invest in ACF, whatever that means." I didn't expect a title, I just knew that I wanted to truly invest and be used in the lives of the people around me. The timing of me leaving YoungLife was a total God-thing. I literally went from not even considering leaving YL to knowing without a doubt that I was to do so within four days. Crazy. Though I didn't know if I'd have a title, I did. A week after I decided to leave YL, nom.com. asked me to be Social Chair for ACF. "OK. Wherever You want me, God. I'm open. This will probably be a good fit for me." Then, right before the ACF picnic, I was asked to lead the freshmen girls Bible study.
A few people had mentioned to me, "Kate, have you ever thought about leading a Bible study?" and I gave them all the same answer: I don't necessarily think that leading a Bible study is where my gifts are. I'll pray about it though; I'm open. They were never official people, yet they were people I respect and took their thoughts seriously. When Laura asked me, I thought this must be something God wants me to do....she was the fourth person to mention it to me and she's "official". The problem? I'd lead with Casey. Not that Casey's a problem, but our personalities often clash - big time. Clashing personalities and upper-classmen drama is not something that ever needs to be brought into leadership and Bible study, especially with freshmen.
What do I do? Casey and I got together today to talk about it. She doesn't think there's anyway we could work. We always end up frustrated with each other and arguing. We get along best when we don't spend constant time together. But the more I think about it, the more I want to lead. I'm still praying - asking God to be "abundantly clear" in His desire for this study. Casey really wants to lead, and has wanted to for a few months now. I want to build relationships with these girls and be a part of plugging them into the fellowship that has been such a blessing to me over the past two years. Obviously, I was never dying to be a Bible study leader, but again, I'm open. And since being asked, I've been really encouraged by a few people about my gifts and how they can be used in that freshmen study setting.
I don't understand (told you it was a theme...) why Casey and I would be asked to lead together. It's no secret that we don't get along that well - too much history. And why me? I didn't even go to the Bible Study Leaders Training...other girls did, and they'd be just as usable....
I'm available, I just need to be really open. I need wisdom.
So what about leading the freshmen girls Bible study next year? When I decided to leave YoungLife and invest in ACF, I told God, "I'm available. I'm ready to invest in ACF, whatever that means." I didn't expect a title, I just knew that I wanted to truly invest and be used in the lives of the people around me. The timing of me leaving YoungLife was a total God-thing. I literally went from not even considering leaving YL to knowing without a doubt that I was to do so within four days. Crazy. Though I didn't know if I'd have a title, I did. A week after I decided to leave YL, nom.com. asked me to be Social Chair for ACF. "OK. Wherever You want me, God. I'm open. This will probably be a good fit for me." Then, right before the ACF picnic, I was asked to lead the freshmen girls Bible study.
A few people had mentioned to me, "Kate, have you ever thought about leading a Bible study?" and I gave them all the same answer: I don't necessarily think that leading a Bible study is where my gifts are. I'll pray about it though; I'm open. They were never official people, yet they were people I respect and took their thoughts seriously. When Laura asked me, I thought this must be something God wants me to do....she was the fourth person to mention it to me and she's "official". The problem? I'd lead with Casey. Not that Casey's a problem, but our personalities often clash - big time. Clashing personalities and upper-classmen drama is not something that ever needs to be brought into leadership and Bible study, especially with freshmen.
What do I do? Casey and I got together today to talk about it. She doesn't think there's anyway we could work. We always end up frustrated with each other and arguing. We get along best when we don't spend constant time together. But the more I think about it, the more I want to lead. I'm still praying - asking God to be "abundantly clear" in His desire for this study. Casey really wants to lead, and has wanted to for a few months now. I want to build relationships with these girls and be a part of plugging them into the fellowship that has been such a blessing to me over the past two years. Obviously, I was never dying to be a Bible study leader, but again, I'm open. And since being asked, I've been really encouraged by a few people about my gifts and how they can be used in that freshmen study setting.
I don't understand (told you it was a theme...) why Casey and I would be asked to lead together. It's no secret that we don't get along that well - too much history. And why me? I didn't even go to the Bible Study Leaders Training...other girls did, and they'd be just as usable....
I'm available, I just need to be really open. I need wisdom.
May 14, 2008
I Just Don't Know
I just don't know.
I've thought about blogging a lot lately, but then decided against it. Here I am. I have to admit that I've enjoyed reading a few blogs over the past few weeks, and people say it's a great way to stay in touch. Tonight I decided to do it because I just need to write. And I suppose I'd appreciate a little input as well...
I'm super excited to be going this summer, but there's a lot that has to be done first and nothing has gone smoothely....like my parents thinking that the $1800 on their credit card was fraud because it was for a middle eastern culture. They refused to pay it, and I got a phone call yesterday saying that they needed a check to be overnighted if I wanted the ticket. Then, there was the visa hassel. When I finished filling everything out online last night (and it took a while), I needed to print it. But NO, the computer decided to stop working. Yes, I over-reacted and panicked a little bit as I didn' t know if I had actually completed all that had to be done or not. Long story short, thank God that all is fine, and $100 later I will have my visa in the mail shortly. I may have over-reacted, but I just feel like there is already so much opposition. I need to pray about this trip more. Satan is at work. Why am I just sitting back and waiting?
My grandmother was asking me about my trip on Sunday. "They're never going to have a life like us, so what are you telling them? Isn't it hard to let them see your lifestyle if they'll never get out of where they are?" she asked me. I was kind of hurt. I didn't have much of a response, but I ask, "Who's to say that America is the ultimate goal and end to success?" I think my purpose is to go and love these children. What does that look like though? This seems to be another phrase that I use a lot (at least to myself). What does this stuff look like, practically speaking, in my daily life? How do I love? How do I serve?
On another note...more selfish I suppose....I got an email from Fraser, the guy who owns the house on Walnut Street where I've been planning on living the next two years. On April 12 he promised me that the four of us girls could live in the house beginning in August. Tonight I got an email of apology stating that he is not going to allow that to happen. WHAT?!?!! At this point, I'm homeless. He tried to help out with some phone numbers of houses available near by. I suppose I'll try them in the morning, but seriously....I talked to him last June about making this happen and he decides now that it's not going to work? Yes, there have been tears.
I just feel so....lonely....frustrated.....
I always get this way when I'm at home, but I don't have a reason to. This semester I was continually reminded that it's not a matter of understanding, but it's a matter of obeying. Again, I just don't know...and what does that look like in this situation?
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